I worry about how long it would take to digitise all my books because I insist on buying physical books and annotate everything with pencils

My mom keeps asking me to buy a display monitor to help work and I refuse. I survived three years without one I don't think I'll be staying here for that much longer

All my photos are in an album I can throw in a suitcase instead of put up where I can see them

I sign up and click on every migration ad I see to the point I get fake ones now

I used to sign up for every design competition I see, too, I stopped now because it wasn't sustainable

I bought a pink desk fan I can throw out instead of an air conditioner. I've gotten through a few summers with it anyway

The only activism I can afford to do is repost English-language explainers of grievances coming out of my home country. Or laugh about being deported

I care that my GPA is exactly where it is for three years in a row

I'm dumb for this but I choose to pursue an honours degree and spend the rest of my adulthood in Indonesia making dumb art books with my parents' money over downing a few years teaching high schoolers and potentially being with my people forever

In a failed bookbinding experiment journal I ask people to draw or write a small note for me in case I lose them soon. They've put in everything from heartfelt letters to dragons to male genitalia

I contacted a Canadian migration agency after taking a score quiz and then I ghosted them. They're still trying to reach me

I feel nothing when I see the angry ginger lady

I play story games with French dubbing and subtitles knowing none of the words hoping it would help somehow

I write letters

The only time I talk to God now is when I go to bed wondering if I'd hate home so much if I wasn't queer

I have a mental list in my head of who will receive my printer, my zines, the waxed thread I never use, my $60 RISO posters, my long arm stapler,

My passport is lake blue-green, no lake where I grew up was blue or green

The room I took my IELTS test was the coldest one I'd ever been in. I ate my rice and salmon in the restroom because there was no lounge and it was also Ramadan. I wish I went to IB school

I watch Indonesian podcasts and stand up shows on YouTube because I was never funny in my mother tongue

I have this superstition where as soon as I feel comfortable with someone that means they're going to disappoint me immediately

My friend wishes I don't leave that was the first time I didn't question it

The president and his palm oil plantations are poisoning my parents with carbon monoxide. But it was the people who elected him

I say yes to every event

F&&& soeharto and the USA

I feel every second pass without seeing somebody count towards the time I get to know them

Until I have worked hard enough to lose my citizenship I will pay no mind to writing a screenplay or producing a movie

I choose to talk to a bot and kill an ecosystem every time I have to tell someone I'm losing hope

All of you truly are absolute losers

I don't want to go home during the breaks or ever